emergence, hindsight, and future crises

As Dawn Opens Her Golden Fingertips on this weeks inspirational gridblog

2006-09-09T20:13:00.001-06:00

This weekend is all Odyssey: Cyclopes’, Trojans, sexy goddesses, the underworld, and Starbucks.

K, this might be a stretch, but as I see it life is a lot like reading a classic; hidden within its verse, beyond the struggle of its hero, lies a place of immanent discovery, a place of inspiration, a place where new worlds are born out of darkness.

If you keep your eyes peeled, and your heart ready, there is no limit to reality, to the experience of life. Anything and everything becomes possible, and should be expected.

I think being inspired has something to do with being full and stuffed. Just like after I top off my cluttered tray with a tall bowl of Ice cream diced in Oreo. After I’m done eating it I’m full, I am inspired! When your inspired something has to give, my belt needs to be loosened. Things can not stay as they were. We are changed.

I am not the man I was when I first came through the cafeteria doors, swiping my card with ease and excitement. Cookie crumbs are everywhere. I am inspired, I am full to over flowing. Something must give.

Earlier I was walking out of Barnes and Noble and saw a white thing gliding up in the sky. A bird of course. But the question came quickly; what the heck is he doing up there? Flying!! What the…

Then, as I was thinking about this strangeness I confidently slid my station wagon out onto the road. I was headed for the Supper-Bonus-Extra lane found in the middle of every American street. It’s no man’s lane, a free lane! It's up for grabs to the greatest of all wheelers. It was mine! All mine! It was mine until the SUV called Hulk turned out of its Best Buy parkade and into it. He stole it! The damned beast!

I shuddered as its bright lights moved across my wagon, suddenly looking me straight in the eye. I shook my fist in terror. There I was, stranded, sitting like a basement in the flood of 1997. The cars approached. And then they stopped and didn’t kill me, giving me another day to live. PHEW!

Its moments like these that remind me of my own frailty, my own mortality, and the importance of every moment, that it is all gift and it is all fleeting. So grab the middle lane every time you get the chance! Actually, this is what I meant to say: Why waste time on the unsubstantial? Its time to get inspired!

while reading Bruggemann

2006-09-04T21:27:00.000-06:00

(This came out over about 20 minutes at barnes and noble while studying for OT history and Theology. It is not meant to really flow together.)

Any scholarship must take up the questions that the world is asking. They must deal in fairness, understanding and compassion, with the questions of today that beg to be answered, the questions that darken the minds of men, women, and children. Now, to be sure, it is not necessary that all are able to straight up ask these questions for themselves, in fact, it is quite likely that most of us lack the words, and the time, to thuroughly think through contemporary angst and gas.

Why am I studying all this, to who’s it for, to whom does it benefit? Am I simply a dark storm clould preparing to go off and do battle in a far off sea, with other dark and lost clouds like myself. To rage and scream, to pour water upon a poisoned sea? To rub against the greatest and worst of scholarship, to win prizes for eachother, to speak mighty words that only we understand in a place where only we like to live?

What an utter waste of a good thing! Why even bother. See that’s how I view Biblical scholarship at times, fighting aimlessly yet proudly over words. Albeit, sure, behind words is meaning, and possibly for someone somewhere this never ended struggle just so happens to help some guy out, but there must be better ways. Why fight over words with so much at stake?

Is the Old Testament the history of Israel’s God or the history of Israel’s understanding of it’s God. See, it seems like God made an entrance; in a bush and in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Soon however, the spirit takes his leave, almost as soon as he first appeared. And the people are left with his memory and the challenge of understanding why exactly he appeared, why he left so quickly, and what he would have them to do.

I get these feelings sometimes, feelings of utter fullness, like I’m a balloon blown much to full. So quick to blow I am, with one prick of a pin and I’m done for. And what do you get? Air and spit, that’s all I ever was.

Post Scrip
Ok ok i admit this is all a little over the top. Basically behind all of this was just a little insecurity, and fear over the future, thats all. Cause when I look at what I'm doing I ask myself the question, 'is any of this actually gonna help anything?' For some reason i find myself pretty skeptical of theologians and 'rhetorical critics' sometimes. Does any of this make sense to anyone? yikes

The bible in my life... entering the gridblog

2006-09-01T13:07:00.000-06:00

Well, first off, although I am somewhat interested in the bible, a lot of the time it seems I'm more interested in the interpretations of some gifted Bible readers than actually reading it for myself.

One of the problems with making the bible real in my life is that im not an ancient Jew.
I am a twenty first century kid, heavily sedated with popular grumblings (post modernism), and yet still truly desperate to encounter truth and reality - GOD.

So this is how it sorta goes for me... God has been up to some different sorts of things since he created everything. Some scholars refer to this activity as 'salvation history' It involves God acting on behalf of his creatures by doing for them what they could not do for themselves. Examples of this sort of thing are easy to find - The ten plagues, the parting of the red sea, desecrating Jericho, giving them the land (even through genocide, interesting... but I believe that has already been covered on the gridblog or at least on someone's blog), and finally in raising Christ from the dead.

therefore, it seems that the Bible is a gift to the world in that it is a key and crucial testimony to these incredible things that God has been doing throughout history. It brings me through the red sea, it takes me into exile and it places me at the foot of the cross.

It is the nearest we can get to the action

SO basically, although the bible isn't often in my life, right now - for example, at BIBLE college, I think its in the corner of my room, luckily its zipped up tightly in protective casing - I still believe in its story, I still hope in the God who appears in its pages.

I definitely feel somewhat out of the loop in this conversation so forgive me if the stuff I've said has already been said, or if its just plain reeking B.O.

the states

2006-08-31T13:23:00.000-06:00

Well here i am, in my new post in america. for those of you who don't know, i have moved to rochester college in detroit michigan. here, i am gonna finish of the biblical studies degree started at western and also get an english degree... which means i will stay here an extra year.

im learning more and more about this place everyday, im learning to find my way to greek class, and to get out of chapel as quick as i can, im learning not to talk to girls about becoming a catholic - (not a good pick up line down here). The thing about moving is that you leave your habits behind, and habits can be very helpful cause they give you this feeling of control and stability. just not getting to go to tim hortons everyday is a real adjustment... but as i said to a friend last night, 'you can't always be riding down a waterslide'

to all my good friends

a fairies tale

2006-05-18T19:55:00.000-06:00

I didn't write this... this is from a book called 'the brothers karamazov'
“Once upon a time lived a nasty horrible woman. When she died, she didn't leave behind her one single good deed. So the devils got hold of her and tossed her into the flaming lake. Meantime, her guardian angel stood there, trying hard to think of one good deed of hers that he could mention to God in order to save her. Then he remembered and said to God: 'Once,' he said, 'she pulled up an onion in her garden and gave it to a beggar woman.' So God said to him: 'Take that onion, hold it out to her over the lake, let her hold on to it, and try to pull herself out. If She does, let her enter heaven; if the onion breaks, the old woman will just have to stay where she is.' So the angel hurried to the woman, held out the onion to her, and told her to take hold of it and pull. Then he himself began to pull her out very carefully and she was almost entirely out of the lake when the other sinners saw she was being pulled out and grabbed on to here so that they'd be pulled out of the flames too. But when she saw them, that wicked, horrible woman started kicking them saying: 'I'm being pulled out, not you, for it's my onion, not yours!' As soon she said that the onion snapped and the woman fell back into the flaming lake, where she's still burning to this day. And her guardian angel wept and walked away.”

Ripe like a pound of bacon

2006-05-06T00:39:00.000-06:00

So its been a while since i was last on here... sorry if you checked it. I have had a crazy busy last 3 weeks. i spent 2 down in new orleans cleaning and then 1 in an intensive block class. So basically im tired. The time in New Orleans, or 'nalens' as the locals call it, was really good in so many ways, but also very much exausting, both spiritually and physically.
I would be silly to say that after seeing the devastation and tradgedy for two weeks and hearing some really painful stuff i decided to start worrying about my belief in God... rather I have been spiritually exhausted for quite a while and a trip like that didn't help that much... even though it was totally worthwhile.
More to come soon...

pack and get dressed

2006-04-05T03:12:00.000-06:00

So this is my first true blog. I have to wonder if this thing will last, or if it will just crash and burn, like im about to, as it is 3:14 am. The last three nights i have been up typing into my key pad, thinking church history. Its depressing so much of the time. So much dominion, power, arogance, fire, exclusion, and rudeness. You have to wonder if were doing any better today, or if we have turned Jesus into a good reason to get a perm and go to war. who knows.
So im gonna use this blog to hack out my mind, to put what troubles me in my computer, to use my voice, to try and become a better follower of Jesus. I hope some of this makes sense, it likely doesn't since its late, and my mind is full of the eggs i ate for dinner. See you soon

making a post

2006-04-05T02:33:00.000-06:00

this is the first post at my space. I will spend some time making my font large and thinking of titles for my blog and forth coming book.